It got tough and I almost stopped going

Editor's note: Violeta Viviano submitted this article for the newsletter and we thought it was the perfect start to the blog.

I just really wanted to quit this stuff. Just quit everything that I had worked on for over 20 years. I had had it. Really!

Last month during the April Level 1-2 practice with John, during the exercise in which we were looking for our own pain pictures, I noticed what I would describe as three separate clouds in my aura. They were quite distinct and had their own color. I thought, “Great, what you can see, you can clear.” Then in a subsequent exercise, I looked more closely at one of the clouds and realized that this “cloud” was not unlike clouds we see in the sky. This inner cloud was full of “droplets” and each one of the droplets was an individual picture. There were thousands of pictures in each cloud. Each cloud referred to a theme that I was working on, a belief or belief system. I was ready to throw in the towel and just say “forget it”. This is too hard, I’ve been doing this for 20 years, I ‘should’ be getting better at it.

And then the Intensive came around and the discussion about “petty tyrants” helped to further illuminate what the clouds in my aura were all about and why they were still there. But they were still there. Again, I felt almost defeated.

After the Intensive, for two days I felt “thick” and very tired. Thick was the only word I could come up with that aptly described how I felt. I could not get into the center of my head, let alone even want to. I could not center within my body. It took until Thursday to feel somewhat more like myself.

Then the weekend came. We became busy with family activities and Mother’s Day. For Mother’s Day, among other things, I received the book by Carlos Castaneda, “The Fire from Within”. I ventured to read the first chapter which was headed “Petty Tyrants”. I then was able to understand where I now am going with my “clouds”, beliefs and “petty tyrants”.

Needless to say, I’m back on my path of teaching within John’s system and have scheduled an extended Level 1-2 practice session for Sunday, June 22 from 1-4. (No extended practice in May because I ran out of Sundays.) I am shortening the class to 3 hours because 4 seems too long. We’ll begin with a clearing meditation and then a discussion about “Recognizing our personal petty tyrants” with an exercise and then perhaps look at “a societal petty tyrant” that also lights us up followed by an exercise. There will be a general Q&A at the end.

Come and join us so that you can continue your own work and not feel isolated.

Comment from John:
very fascinating, by the way, the way to avoid feeling defeated, technically, at least, is to look at the problem from an energy frequency higher than the problem, Love, John